Lewis Hamilton has confessed he "massively underestimated" how challenging his emotional farewell to Mercedes would be ahead of his final race with the team in Abu Dhabi this weekend.
The 39-year-old, seven-time world champion shocked Formula One in February by announcing he would leave Mercedes, his long-time team since his go-karting days, to join Ferrari at the end of the year.
While Mercedes has had time to adjust, signing 18-year-old Italian Kimi Antonelli as Hamilton’s replacement, the Briton told reporters at Yas Marina that the transition has not been easy.
"I anticipated it would be difficult, but I massively underestimated how difficult it would be," he said.
"It was straining on the relationship very early on. It took time for people to get past it. And then, just for my own self, it's been a very emotional year for me. And I think I've not been at my best in handling and dealing with those emotions."
The winner of a record 105 races, including two this season – one of them at Silverstone – has struggled with his car's handling.
Questions have been raised about his speed as he approaches 40, with more than 350 races under his belt.
Hamilton said in Qatar last weekend he had "still got it."
But his frustration, particularly in qualifying, where teammate George Russell leads him 18-5, has been evident.
In Brazil, he even hinted he might not complete the season.
"I think you've all seen the worst of me and seen the best of me, and I'm not going to apologize for either because I'm only human and I don't always get it right," he said in Abu Dhabi.
"I would definitely say this year's been one of the worst in terms of handling that from my side, which I'll work on trying to be better at. But I hope the good and the highs far outweigh the negatives and how I've handled it or behaved."
Hamilton won six of his seven titles with Mercedes and could have had an eighth at Yas Marina in 2021 but for a controversial late change to the safety car procedure while he was leading. He has started 246 races with the team.
His achievements, as the only Black driver on the starting grid, also include transforming Mercedes – and, by extension, the sport – into a more racially diverse and welcoming environment.
Ferrari, the team that took Michael Schumacher to five of his seven titles, will be his third team since his 2007 debut with McLaren.
"I'm not looking at comparing myself to Michael. Not looking at that," said the Briton. "At the moment, that's not something that I'm thinking about. I'm trying to think about making sure that I finish off the right way and the best way possible with Mercedes. These next days are going to be super-emotional."
