Typically, the mother assumes the primary caregiver role during early development, and the nature of the relationship with her can significantly shape an individual's worldview.
Within the first month of life, infants begin to absorb and process the emotional tone of their environment, particularly from their mother, which influences their perception of positive and negative emotions. As they mature, they learn to differentiate between these emotions, associating positive behaviors with good and negative behaviors with bad feelings, sometimes perceiving themselves and their mother as distinct entities.
However, the expected developmental milestone involves integrating these emotions and recognizing oneself as a unified individual by around the of age 5. Positive experiences with the mother during early childhood can facilitate this integration, while an excess of negative emotions can impede it, leading to the defense mechanism of projective identification, wherein one projects their difficult feelings onto others as a coping strategy.
Individuals employing the split and projective identification mechanisms typically exhibit distinct behavioral traits. They tend to perceive themselves positively while consistently viewing others negatively. Moreover, they exhibit a propensity for criticizing virtually everything and everyone around them. Additionally, they possess a keen eye for identifying minor flaws in others, often failing to acknowledge any positive attributes except in themselves and those whom they consider extensions of themselves. This pattern of behavior reflects a tendency toward dichotomous thinking, where individuals categorize people and situations into rigidly defined good and bad categories.
For instance, while praising the political party they support, even in the absence of notable success, they dismiss any positive efforts made by opposing parties and emphasize their shortcomings. Conversely, they fail to recognize positive decisions made by parties they oppose, focusing solely on their negative aspects. Their evaluations lack holistic consideration of both positive and negative aspects. However, if the party they support espouses the same idea previously criticized, they promptly shift their stance and endorse it.
They exhibit inconsistency. For instance, an acquaintance who voiced discomfort with foreigners in Türkiye and expressed strong nationalist sentiments later decided to settle abroad. Suddenly, they began praising multiculturalism and extolling its virtues. This inconsistency is evident. One's choice of political leaders often reflects their upbringing and caregivers' mental states.
Additionally, childhood experiences with authority figures play a pivotal role in shaping political preferences. The unconscious authority figures in our lives, often our parents, significantly influence our perception of political leaders. Suppose a caregiver, typically the father, fails to provide a sense of security during childhood. In that case, individuals may seek leaders who can fulfill this need or inadvertently gravitate toward figures resembling their troubled past.
In summary, our choice of leaders is influenced by various factors rooted in our childhood experiences:
– We often gravitate toward leaders who possess qualities we perceive as lacking in ourselves. For instance, if we struggle with self-assertion, we may be drawn to leaders who exhibit strong physical or psychological attributes.
– Psychological familiarity plays a crucial role in our choice of leaders. We tend to select individuals who mirror our own flaws or positive traits, making them psychologically relatable. This extends to how we perceive the world, as leaders with similar perspectives may resonate with us more deeply.
– Our childhood caregivers serve as significant models for the type of leaders we seek. If a parent figure was protective and assertive, we may seek similar traits in our chosen leader.
– Conversely, we might seek leaders who contrast with the characteristics of our childhood caregivers. For example, if a parent is authoritarian, we may seek a leader with opposing traits.
Think about your ideal leader and list their positive traits: strength, confidence, determination, consistency, diligence, innovation, compassion, inclusivity, friendliness and more.
Reflect on each trait individually. Who in your childhood embodied strength? Who appeared weak? How did you relate to them?
Repeat this process for each trait. Identify those who showed love and those who lacked affection.
Every characteristic has its opposite. Your understanding of consistency, for instance, stems from experiences with both consistency and inconsistency during childhood. It's essential to explore both sides.
Typically, traits you dislike in leaders reflect qualities of individuals from your past that you wish to suppress. Conversely, traits you admire align with your own attributes, ones you aim to strengthen.
