In Lauro Buzo’s little-known book "Love and Other Perishable Items," the main character Amelia says, "Sometimes I think my mother would be happier if feminism had never been invented." She believes that the pressure of feminism and society’s impossible expectations of women have constantly made her mother inadequate and that this has been a major source of her unhappiness.

Young Amelia’s naive thoughts may involve criticism of the pressure that feminism can sometimes place on women, as well as the expectations that women may impose on themselves and the societal roles imposed upon them.

Feminism is a movement that fights for women’s rights and social equality. However, it has become a safety net for the male-dominated capitalist system. But, it would be incorrect to blame feminism solely, as capitalism can reinvent itself and turn crises into opportunities. To sustain itself, it has continuously evolved by selectively granting certain rights while covertly suppressing others to maintain power and struggling for centuries not to realize that it has been diving into the pool of rights with a ladle and giving it to the public with a spoon.

A notable illustration of this phenomenon is the social democratic movement, which fought for workers’ rights and established unions. But unfortunately, this movement emerged to impede a complete transition to socialism. As a result, Marx’s widely known call to action, "Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose, but your chains" (in its popularised form in English), became less effective since workers had gained "something" such as rights and benefits. But, as we all know, this strategy proved successful.

Likewise, the feminist movement is susceptible to being co-opted by capitalist interests. While it has succeeded in breaking down barriers and advancing women’s rights, especially in the beginning, it is also used to maintain the status quo.

But before we delve into these issues, let’s roll the tape back a little.

In the late 19th century, a handful of "nasty women" emerged in male-dominated Western societies and made political demands such as the right to vote. Yes, I’m talking about the "suffragettes," a term that is now commonly used to describe a woman fighting for voting rights but was originally considered a sexist insult.

And just like that, the first wave of feminism was born and gained momentum in the early 20th century, with the establishment of women’s suffrage movements in Europe and North America. Female activists and suffragettes, such as Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Emmeline Pankhurst, worked tirelessly to secure women’s right to vote and other legal protections.

The first wave was largely concerned with legal and political rights, focusing on achieving legal equality with men. Nevertheless, the movement laid the foundation for future feminist movements and paved the way for women’s entry into the workforce, politics and other traditionally male-dominated spheres.

The second wave emerged in the 1960s and 1970s and focused on various issues, including reproductive rights, sexuality, workplace discrimination and domestic violence. The origin of the second wave can be traced back to the civil rights movement of the 60s. Second-wave feminists sought to challenge the patriarchal structures of society.

Third and fourth (?) waves

As seen, feminism sets out with a virtuous goal and continues beautifully in line with this goal in the first two waves. Until the third wave ... This is precisely where things get mixed up.

The first two waves of feminism were largely concerned with legal and political rights, but the third wave focused on a broader range of issues, including intersectionality, body positivity and the representation of women in media and popular culture.

The third wave is characterized by a greater diversity of voices and perspectives, including those of women of color, LGBTQ and women from various cultural and religious backgrounds. A greater emphasis on individual identity and expression, including the celebration of feminine sexuality and the rejection of traditional gender roles and expectations, has also marked it.

The fourth wave is the current iteration of the feminist movement, which emerged in the mid-2010s and continues today. Briefly, the fourth wave continues to focus on gender equality and justice, with a commitment to intersectionality and using technology and social media as tools for activism.

However, it is widely seen as a deviation from the original movement.

Metamorphosis

Especially since the third wave, feminism, which started as a struggle for rights, has begun to be shaped by the expectations of capitalism with the help of the cosmetic industry, fashion industry, media, and social media platforms, going beyond its mission of fighting for "women’s rights." And it has transformed into something that tries to confine women within its rules blended with capitalism instead of "old nemesis," namely traditional expectations.

In my previous article, I wrote about how TV shows shaped the definition of modern femininity. In that article, I pointed out the concept of the "superwoman." The superwoman image portrays a very concrete portrait of a strong woman who is successful in both social areas, such as work life, where women struggle for gender equality, and in the home, a traditional imposition for women that feminism has been fighting against for years. While this image contributes significantly to the fight for gender equality, it also puts an enormous burden on women that no human being can bear.

This leads us to a dead-end: We, women, constantly struggle to succeed in both the workplace and the traditional roles of a housewife and mother, which are traditionally imposed on us.

Especially in Middle Eastern culture, it is not very possible to reject these traditional roles, even in secular countries like Türkiye. We are talking about the influence of a culture that has been dominant for centuries. As French feminist sociologist Christine Delphy pointed out, we "have to do things that will nourish patriarchy in many aspects of life." Patriarchy is an experience that inevitably results from being an integrative subsystem within capitalism.

I had a professor – who shall remain nameless – at Istanbul University, where I took a graduate course. She was an excellent academic working in women’s studies and feminism. One day in class, she mentioned that sometimes she goes beyond the book because she gets tired of giving "lessons" to her son. In other words, sometimes it seems much easier for her to act in harmony with patriarchy when she is "exhausted."

However, just like Amelia’s mother and many of us, she felt great guilt afterward. Of course, it is not right to put the burden of this guilt entirely on the shoulders of feminism, but in a repressive system that forces us to remain in a great division, it is not altogether wrong to say that it appears to us with hope and ultimately only serves to increase our sense of guilt.

The superwoman, who is making a career, creates another contradiction by needing help from another woman to manage household chores. In addition, the superwoman image, while broadly explaining women’s freedom through sexuality and the hook-up culture, also presents women as the dominant subject of consumer culture, making feminism highly compatible with capitalism.

The state of "being manipulated" by feminism can sometimes make us more vulnerable. For example, getting married – which is another discussion – is an action that strengthens the patriarchal system, but circumstances may require it. A woman who stands on her own feet has the "freedom" not to get married. However, she may suffer harm from an unmarried relationship, or if she has a child, she may be unable to escape the patriarchy in her relationship with the child. This is a situation where "open" vulnerabilities can arise from many sources, as extended family, the state and society from all sides surround us.

Hence, there is no perfect feminist model nor a shield of power that feminism has handed us.

Another Jacobin movement?

Interestingly, the fourth wave has a tone that excludes women, starkly contrasting with the original movement. Fighting for the rights of everyone by including LGBTQ could be inclusive at best in theory, but it’s practically impossible in terms of the structure. As with the French Revolution, we are starting to see an understanding in the fourth wave similar to the Jacobins’ "for the people, against the people" approach, such as "for rights, against women."

When feminism included the LGBTQ community in its scope, it set out with a good intention: to defend the rights of vulnerable and abused individuals, including those from a disadvantaged group. However, with some trans people or pro-LGBTQ activists starting to attack women, this "evolution" began to harm feminism and, thus, women themselves. Instead of fighting patriarchy, these individuals began to put themselves in a superior position to those born as women and marginalized women. This group sometimes insults women even more than men and does this under the protection of feminism, which is supposed to defend women’s rights.

The group, which mainly consisted of several influential transgender rights activists and LGBTQ lobbying groups, marginalized the prominent writer J.K. Rowling and other advocates of women’s rights by labeling them as TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) and with verbal abuse, doxing and threats of sexual and other physical violence, including death threats. The group also demonizes them and even brands women who express discomfort with the presence of individuals with male genitalia in female locker rooms and restrooms as transphobic.

Let’s take the case of Lia Thomas, the trans swimmer receiving awards in competitions after she earned the right to compete in women’s races, even though she was ranked 462nd on the men’s swim team at the University of Pennsylvania. Or certain trans groups consider themselves superior to cis women because they do not have biological burdens like "menstruation."

Of course, no one can – and did not, including Rowling – claim that trans people do not face discrimination. However, at this point, it is also undeniable that "those who have been oppressed have become the biggest oppressors." These "tyrants" were created by society and haters. But they have risen against the wrong ones and struck against women. Even today, they’re still attacking women and their female identity. And they’re justifying themselves with the shield of political correctness and feminism. This seems unfair.

Today, the fourth wave continuously marginalizes women. We are constantly marginalized, and because of political correctness, we cannot fight against this marginalization, which makes us unhappy. Moreover, we are always made to feel inadequate with the enormous burden placed on our shoulders, all under the guise of feminism and fighting for women’s rights. Isn’t this the perfect crime?

When did feminism stop being a fight for our rights and become a problem that needed to be fought for us, women?

These combined factors have made women feel exhausted, unhappy and struggling to balance their lives. It’s time for feminism to return to its roots and fight for genuine equality, freedom and choice for all individuals, regardless of gender, while recognizing and addressing how capitalism and other societal structures continue to marginalize women.

Feminists need to be conscious of the intersectionality of oppression and how capitalism can manipulate feminist ideals to ensure genuine progress.

Feminism is a movement that fights for women’s rights and social equality, but its "updated" version blended with capitalism and radicalism, can create extra pressure on women. While trying to meet society’s and feminism’s impossible expectations, women can become unhappy due to the stress and anxiety caused by this situation. Therefore, feminism must fight to make women happy and enable them to do what they want.

Feminism has been crucial in advancing women’s rights and achieving gender equality. It has undergone various transformations throughout its history, with each wave bringing unique challenges and opportunities. However, it is essential to recognize that feminism is not immune to being co-opted by capitalist interests and used to maintain the status quo. Despite these challenges, feminism remains crucial in fighting for social justice.

I still believe it has the potential to change lives. It is up to us to continue to push for progress while also being aware of the potential pitfalls and challenges of any movement for social change.